THE JUICE IS LOOSE

AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM WELCOME TO HELL'S NEWEST CELEBRITY GUEST

HELLO EVERYONE! JUST POPPING ON HERE REAL QUICK TO GIVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM WELCOME TO MY NEWEST CELEBRITY GUEST, MR. ORENTHAL JAMES SIMPSON. HE IS CURRENTLY LEADING MY DEMON HENCHMEN ON A LOW SPEED CHASE ALONG THE RIVER STYX.

O.J. IS IN GREAT SPIRITS AND IS ALREADY FORGING FAST FRIENDSHIPS WITH LIKEMINDED CO-INHABITANTS SUCH AS SID VICIOUS, PHIL SPECTOR, AND TED KENNEDY.

HE LOOKS FORWARD TO LENDING A GLOVED HAND TO THE RB1 SLOT ON MY FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM IN 2025. HIS 143 YARDS PER GAME ON THE GROUND WILL COMPLEMENT AARON HERNANDEZ'S PASS-CATCHING ABILITIES AT TIGHT END VERY NICELY.

I WILL HONOR HIS LEGACY BY FORCING ALL OF YOU TO STAND IN LINE AT A HERTZ CAR RENTAL COUNTER AFTER A SIX HOUR FLIGHT.

SEE YOU SOON, DIDDY.

RESPECTFULLY,

MR. S