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Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.
Welcome back to Oddball! Our weekly NFL gambling competition. The rules are simple:
We each get $100 to make NFL bets every week.
We must bet the entire $100.
We'll post our picks every Thursday and recap how we did every Tuesday.
We can only bet on stuff that will be resolved during the week (no futures).
Loser must eat an entire well-done steak at Applebee's.
Any profit you make in a given week can be banked and used later. Any portion of the $100 that you don't lose, cannot be used later but does count towards your overall total for the season.
Now that the rules preamble is over, let's get to the picks and see if Kirk will ever bank a winning week again!
Matt's Picks
$100.00 available to bet this week -$32.43 last week +$215.57 for the season
This is a very ugly slate. I’m not too sad that, because I lost money last week, I only have $100 to mess around with. Be careful out there, folks!
Bengals +1.5
Straight up ATS (-115)
I’ll have to eat a little crow here. After Week 6, our reader Sean from Columbus sent us this question:
The Bengals are currently +2900 on FanDuel to win the Super Bowl. Joe is healthy, the defense is forcing turnovers, and Ja'Marr is now officially the best receiver in the NFL (since Jefferson is hurt). Talk me out of taking a flyer on Cincy.
I threw cold water on that idea, mainly because of their schedule. However, they just beat the Niners and are catching Buffalo after some major injuries on defense have really hurt them. I also corrected him and said that Tyreek Hill was the best receiver. We might have both been wrong on that front, as A.J. Brown might have stolen the title belt.
Here’s Sean again:
What a difference two weeks makes! Joe Burrow is healthy and the Bengals Super Bowl odds have fallen all the way to 17-1 after their win against San Fran. A win this week, followed by an easy home game against the fading Texans, will set up quite a matchup when they head to Baltimore in Week 11. In Joe we trust!
It’s nice having a reader email us who actually knows the quarterbacks’ names. Anyway, I hope there’s a seat for me on this bandwagon. I’m jumping on!
💰$46.00 to win $40.00
Raiders -1.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
The Giants are a horrible, horrible offense who will be without their best pass catcher in Darren Waller for this one. The Raiders are a pretty bad offense that HATED their horrible, horrible coach who is now fired. Antonio Pierce, who won a Super Bowl with the Giants, is now coaching the Raiders. You don’t think his team is gonna get up for that? Plus, our boy Tyrod Taylor is back on the bench for this one, which he confirmed to us via email earlier today.
what’s up boys? thanks for the well wishes after the injury. sorry i wasn’t out there in overtime after daboll’s wet fart. the hopsital was pretty chill tho. the nurses outfits were fire, they had all the channels, and rachel and brayden’s piñata date on paradise was dope. anyway, dimes is back this week as we headin out to vegas. all the better since, as you guys know, i’ll be up mad late on saturday evenin. the high limit baccarat room at the mandalay is callin my name. hope i don’t run into talmage’s maintenance man, though i wouldn’t mind skinny dippin with those cirque du soleil acrobats if you know what i mean. haha, well i guess you actually do know what i mean since i just told you. see?? that’s how i almost beat buffalo. keepin it simple out there. basically the opposite of krazy kirk’s parlays. lol. anyways, gotta run and log in to open table. tryin to snag a rezzy for saturday night at tao. gonna get 3 orders of that sweet and spicy shrimp with the tamarind sauce. shit’s delicious. good luck this week, gentlemen!
💰$22.00 to win $20.00
6-Point Teaser (-134)
Panthers +8.5
Browns -2.5
Not much to say here. I like both of these teams against the spread this week, but both lines let us move through several key numbers. So I’ll add a dreaded teaser to the party. I’m 3-2 with teasers on the year, so it hasn’t been the trainwreck for me that it usually is. I’m still proud of myself for avoiding the Chiefs last week.
Speaking of the Chiefs, Uncle Jack is not happy about them playing in Germany this week.
Shame on the NFL for having the best game of the day start at 9:30! Sunday mornings only revolve around three things: coffee, Jesus, and Face the Nation. Now their shipping there biggest stars Tua Tagovailoa and Trevor Kelce over to Germany? What the heck does Germany have to do with AMERICAN football? If they want to watch a great offense, tell them to watch a History Channel doc about Normandy! I can download one on my Firestick for them as long as Colin isn’t hogging the wifi doing his Soundclouds again. Will NOT be watching this game!
Holy shit, he spelled Tua’s name right.
💰$32.00 to win $24.00
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$443.51 for the season
This weeks slate of games looks absolutely dreadful to me, so I'm mostly going to stay away. Now, having said that, I do like one game this week.
Rams +3.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
Putting all the eggs in the basket could backfire, this is true. But this line jumped up from 3 to 3.5 and I'm grabbing the points.
Even if Stafford doesn't play you have to remember something. This Packers team stinks! My god they play uninspired football and is yet another example of a proven point: THE QB MAKES THE COACH NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND (pls see Tom Brady/Bill Beeeelicheek).
Without Aaron Rodgers this team has been dreadful. I've had Aaron Jones on my fantasy team all year and guess what? He hasn't done shit either! This coach sucks! He can't scheme worth shit and the camera constantly catches him with a dumb look on his face!
So I'll take a Rams team that yes, lost last week but was going against a strong Dallas side. I'm looking for Aaron Donald to get in Jordan Loves face this week and make him feel like a small, little man. If Stafford does play I'll wish I took out another mortgage to put down all my liquid assets.
Fingers crossed I don't dip below $500 for a loss this year. My wife may punt me across the room by the boys.
💰 $100.00 to win $90.91
Bonus Pick
Congrats for making it all the way to the end! Kirk and I have been tailing this Twitter account that is using AI to identify profitable same game parlays. The last four TNF games have hit, as have 14 of the last 16 primetime same-gamers.
Because we like to live dangerously, Kirk and I are teaming up. We're gonna take this parlay tonight and add one more leg to it. Titans first half +1.5 because the Steelers offense has absolutely sucked early in games this year. That boosts the odds to almost 7 to 1. Here it is if you want to ride along with us. Note: This isn't counting towards our weekly total. Just a camaraderie bet to show that we're still friends even after I whoop his ass every week.
D. Henry over 12.5 receiving yards C. Okonkwo over 2.5 receptions D. Johnson over 39.5 receiving yards Titans First Half +1.5
💰 $100.00 to win $676.67
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!