This is now a Jameis Winston fan site. Enjoy.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to drive to the State Diner in Ithaca, NY and eat a bowl of chicken and rice soup alone. Let's take a look at how we did this week!
Matt's Picks
$174.25 wagered $13.70 won -$226.65 for the season
It wasn't much profit, but it's profit all the same. Things were looking good after the 1:00 PM window as I hit all three of my picks during the early slate. Then I flew too close to the sun and texted Kirk about how I was smacking him around in Oddball. That was the kiss of death. I then lost the Bears game on a Hail Mary and had to suffer through multiple Dak Prescott brain farts on Sunday night. Gambling sure is fun!
Browns (+8.5)
Straight up ATS (-105)
Jameis. Fucking. Winston. What a god. I love him so much. I ate every last crumb of that W he delivered on Sunday afternoon. It was everything we've come to expect from him — electrifying drives, unabashed positivity, and an absolutely horrible pass in a key situation that was luckily dropped by Kyle Hamilton. Look at this shit!
The pre-game speech:
The almost backbreaker:
The absolute PISS MISSLE for the win:
What a rollercoaster! This is now a Cleveland Browns fan blog. Enjoy the ride.
✅ Won $30.00
Bears (-2.5)
Straight up ATS (-115)
Making these picks on Thursday occasionally is a real bummer. I love Jayden Daniels and I never would have bet against him if I thought he was playing. When I wrote this up last week, he had all but been ruled out. As the game drew nearer, he practiced in full on Friday afternoon as was a full-go by Sunday. That caused the line to move all the way back to Commanders -1.5.
So anyway, I had pretty much chalked this up to a loss. But then the Bears miraculously scored a touchdown to pull ahead by 3 with under 30 seconds left. Much like Tyrique Stevenson, I started celebrating way too early. Then my boy Jayden did this:
Oh shit, sorry. Wrong magic trick.
That's the one. Horrific beat. Amazing play. Great Commanders over 6.5 wins future bet by me and Kirk.
❌ Lost $34.50
Colts (+5.5)
Straight up ATS (-114)
Haha Kirk loved this game so much that I'm not even gonna write anything. I'll let him do the honors. All I'm going to say is that I bet the Colts over 8.5 wins this season and I still have no idea what is going to happen. Anthony Richardson has the lowest completion percentage I've ever seen, misses throws like he's eating Tim Tebow's lunch, and then once or twice a game hits an absolute bomb for a touchdown. I don't trust anything about the Colts except the fact that they are on my multi-view every week and it's never even a question!
✅ Won $30.00
Cowboys
Straight up ATS (-115)
This game stunk. I really needed the Cowboys to cap off a very profitable day. I was feeling like a genius when they were up 10-3 and the 49ers were struggling in the red zone as usual. Then the third quarter hit me like a tequila hangover and all of a sudden it was 27-10. Dak was hucking it up into traffic and the Cowboys looked like they'd never practiced a running play before in their lives. Yikes.
And despite all that, it got close at the end thanks to two wide open CeeDee Lamb touchdowns. The Cowboys got the ball back, down by 6, with a chance to put a game-winning drive together. Wanna know what they did? 1st and 10: Dak incomplete pass 2nd and 10: Dak incomplete pass 3rd and 10: Dak incomplete pass 4th and 10: Dak incomplete pass Thanks a lot! Super glad I stayed up to watch that. Our friend Jake is a financial advisor and pointed this out:
Brock Purdy's salary for this entire season is $870,000. Dak Prescott makes $882,000 PER QUARTER. Asset management, Jerry!
Woof.
❌ Lost $34.50
Lions
Straight up ATS (-110)
My Uncle Jack did not care for this game at all.
I'm sick and tired of Jared Goof getting all kinds of smoke blown up his rear end. Rodger Goodman won't stop vaping long enough to return my calls about putting him on the commissioner's exempt list. It's a conspiracy I tell ya! It's a bigger load of monkey turds than the one Democrats dump into all Pennsylvania voting machines. I don't know what's worse — Karmela Harris winning the presidency or that no good cyberbully winning the MVP. He should be in jail for fraud! He put up a fake ad on Craigslist where he pretended to be a proctology student and offered $5 for photographs of people's rear ends to help with his studies but then he put Tony from the plant's niece's email address on it so she got thousands of pictures of strange rear ends in her university email box which was then flagged by the IT department for inappropriate conduct and she got in trouble. He also farts constantly and gives people sourdough starter as a gift. I hate him, I hope Dave Campbell does the right thing and benches him for ethical and moral reasons. Anyway, I need to keep this rant a little shorter than usual. The hooligans in my neighborhood seem to think it's funny to throw toilet tissue all over the trees and shrubs in my yard every time Halloween rolls around. Well not this year, buster! I got the floodlights aimed at every corner of the yard, security camera on full blast, trip wires all over the lawn, and an ice cold hose locked and loaded for any punk dumb enough to try egging my house. Last year, some jabroni dressed like a giant banana tried to airmail a whole roll of Charmin over my fence. His parents must be fentanyl-loving liberals who are too busy listening to Madame Gaga to pay attention their kid. They probably didn't even notice when I sent him home with a broken arm and a lawn dart sticking out of his rear end. Halloween used to be about carving pumpkins and getting a few of those Reese's cups, not dressing up in costumes that look like they came from a San FranWoke-o drag show! I swear, half the getups I see are just an excuse for grown men to where wigs and makeup. And don’t even get me started on the young jezebels prancing around in there underpants. It's depraved! Where have our morals gone? Rodger Goodman sure isn't helping by endorsing Jared Goofs horrendous online behavior! Quit vaping, Rodger! Cancel Halloween! End Cyberbullying! Stop the Steal! Go Texans! Tell Susie I'm not eating anymore godforsaken steamed tilapia!
✅ Won $30.00
Underdog Moneyline Parlay (+1692)
Rams ✅ Colts ❌ Cowboys ❌
I'm not sure why I didn't just take the Rams as a standalone pick. It turns out that I'm still not very good at this. It was nice to see Sam Darnold lose and Cooper "Goatboy" Kupp get back on the field.
Kirk's Picks
$211.28 wagered $7.00 won -$316.02 for the season
Last week I made a egregious mistake. I claimed to interpret the will of The Football Gods. I was struck down and brought low for such heresy. How could I, a walking garbage can, presume to know the will of The Football Gods?
I will never dare presume again.
For my stupidity I was cursed with two of the worst gambling losses you could think of this week (not counting the Bears).
Last minute losses where the team I bet on still managed to win but the cover was blown. The price was high for my mistake and I will carry this pain in my gut for weeks. It feels exactly getting a nut shot in the balls. They have receded. They may not exist.
Packers (-4.5)
Straight up ATS (-102)
And much like my balls, Jordan Love was also feeling the pain down south. Unbeknownst to me as I was actually being a good Dad and not solely watching football, Jordan Love exited the game with a groin injury.
Just my fucking luck (really, fate as we already determined above).
With Love sidelined the Packers still were in a commanding position. That is until as the game was winding down Trevor Lawrence through this pass into triple coverage, triple! Also Evan Engram is still in the NFL?
Of course, he caught it, and the trash Jaguars almost pulled off the comeback (went on to lose by 3).
❌ Lost $50.00
Texans (-5.5)
Straight up ATS (-106)
As Matt stated above, I have some feelings on this one.
There they stood. Less than 10 yards away from sealing the deal. And then what do they do?
CJ pitches the fucking ball backwards instead of a hand off! What is this RedZone shit! You aren't the fucking 49ers you fucking asshole!! You don't have Deebo! Fuck!!!!!!
While the touchdown was called back as a Texans players hand phantomly touched Odeyingbo the damage was done as the turnover stood. The spread was destroyed. I will never bet on or with CJ Stroud again.
ALSO:
My take pregame against the Colts and Anthony Richardson stands. He is an awful QB with a worse completion % than I would have (you can't know if that's not true). His awfulness and their inability to do anything also says a lot about the Texans. They are weaker than they appear and I can't wait to bet against them in the playoffs. Makes me think of the Matt Schaub days on our annual Vegas trips and the sure fire win we had booked to make our flight money back.
On the plus side the Colts have already moved on to Joe Flacco for this coming week. I love to see the old man slinging it again.
Let it fly Joe, let it fly.
❌ Lost $50.00
Steelers (-6.5)
Straight up ATS (-106)
Is it a coincidence that the only bet I won this week was against Matt's Giants?
Is it a coincidence, after my first two losses and as I felt the lowest I could possibly feel, Matt shit talked me?
I stand contrite. I will never again attempt to interpret what The Football Gods mean when they shift the course of a game and the very fabric of fate.
All I will say is that this play happened and Steelers went on to win by 8.
✅ Won $107.00
Bonus Bet
+$550.00 last week +$360.00 for the season
Well, well, well... would ya look at that?
If you tailed this, you might have gotten even better odds. I waited until after I typed up this pick to actually place the bet and by that time it had moved to +600. So congrats if you still had faith in us after a billion terrible picks. Let's keep it up!
Same Game Parlay
Adjusted spread Rams +3.5 ✅
Adjusted total Under 51.0 ✅
Cooper Kupp anytime touchdown ✅
✅ Won $550.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!