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Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.
Welcome back to Oddball! Our weekly NFL gambling competition. The rules are simple:
We each get $100 to make NFL bets every week.
We must bet the entire $100.
We'll post our picks every Thursday and recap how we did every Tuesday.
We can only bet on stuff that will be resolved during the week (no futures).
Loser must eat an entire well-done steak at Applebee's.
Any profit you make in a given week can be banked and used later. Any portion of the $100 that you don't lose, cannot be used later but does count towards your overall total for the season.
Now that the rules preamble is over, let's get to the picks and see how Kirk's Thursday night will be ruined this week.
Matt's Picks
$136.37 available to bet this week +$36.37 last week +$136.37 for the season
I think it's a week to be careful. Lots of upsets last week means lots of over reactions this week. There are also lots of home dogs, which are always feisty. We're going to keep it a bit simpler and try to just pick a few winners. Plus, I threw in a teaser because it's been a little while and I missed them.
Ravens
Moneyline (-154)
It has been an expensive game fading the Lions this season. They've easily covered in blowouts against the Falcons, Packers, Panthers, and Bucs over the last four weeks. But now they are running into a legit team on the road in Baltimore. Their running backs are banged up with Montgomery ruled out and Gibbs and Reynolds hobbling around in practice. Plus, as you'll see in Uncle Jack's email, there's going to be some bad weather which could slow down Goff and the high-flying Lions offense. Even still, I don't like laying the full 3. What fun is pushing in this stupid contest?
Anyway, here's Uncle Jack's weekly email:
Blatimore is my lock of the week. Nobody on the radio will shut the H up about the Lions. I've hated that team ever since Tony from the plant told me about how Jared Goof cyber bullied his niece while they were at Cal. He was insecure about his tiny hands even then. Can't wait to see him fumbling and flailing in the rainy weather with those little mitts. You're aunt is making pigs in a blanket this week. Your welcome to stop by, but if you bring any more of those Mardi Gras beads onto my property I'll have you out on the crub quicker then Lavar Jackson's bowels. We could use a jar of dijon though if you wanna stop on the way.
Oh shit. I'm not sure I like being on the same side as Uncle Jack.
💰 $46.20 to win $30.00
Eagles
Moneyline (-144)
This is definitely not a reverse jinx. I love Philadelphia sports teams and absolutely nothing bad can happen to them ever. It would be so disappointing if the Phillies and Eagles both shit the bed this weekend. E-A-G-L-E-S.
Our friend Jake from Jersey brought up an interesting point:
Man, this Phillies series 🤮. It's so annoying when a mediocre team you hate has the clutch gene. Is this what it was like to root against playoff Eli Manning?
Nope. That was probably worse. Haha.
💰 $28.80 to win $20.00
Steelers
Moneyline (+142)
Tomlin as an underdog is 55-30 against the spread and 44-40 straight up. Everyone hates the Steelers anyway because their offense is so boring. And then on the other side, you have the Rams, who have been a fun little story this year but certainly looked better than they actually are against the lowly Cardinals. Plus, Kyren Williams will miss this game (and screw over my fantasy team), so the Rams' red zone prowess will definitely be limited.
💰 $21.37 to win $31.63
6-Point Teaser (-134)
Giants +9.0
Falcons +8.5
Hey! I thought we didn't do these anymore. Oh well, let's take two shitty quarterbacks and tease them up through some key numbers. The Giants should have beaten Buffalo and look like they could be getting Andrew Thomas back for this one. The Falcons have been one of the unluckiest teams in the league so far. They lost last week despite out gaining the Commanders 402-192. I like both of these teams to keep it close.
Here's another email from friend-of-the-site Tyrod Taylor.
yo wtf is up with you two fools? i write in to tell you how much i love the site and next thing i know matt is shittin on my clock management?? give me a break. i'm over here playin chess while the rest of giant nation is playin checkers. that was all part of the plan, brother. we gotta tank a couple of these games so schoen drafts a quarterback, makes dimes the backup, and gets me the fuuuck outta here. i don't wanna get hit anymore. i wanna go back to the sidelines asap - i got a buncha shows saved on my microsoft surface. been lovin golden bachelor (what up uncle jack??). kirk, my man, you gotta calm down with those thursday games. movin the line to 12 and winnin by 11 was a classic, brother. which hurt worse? that or your vasectomy story?? lol what a mess. told y'all you shoulda bet on me. they don't call me primetime tyrod for nothin. anyway, good luck this week boys. can't wait for the next dumpster dive. those shits are hilarious.
💰 $40.00 to win $30.00
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$317.41 for the season
Just to spite Matt I will not be betting on the Thursday night game...at least not as a part of this competition.
I think I directly angered the Football Gods with my hubris of recent weeks by going against my instincts and roots and only placing a single large bet. Some well thought out bets with some, ass out, crazy odds bets mixed in there for good measure. It's a special blend guaranteed to arouse the taste buds.
The Dog's Moneyline Parlay
Your New York Football Giants, The Chicago Bears, The Detroit Lions (+1136)
The Giants play the Washington Football Team at Metlife Stadium. Divisional game and I actually think the Giants should have taken that win against the Bills last week. Their defense hopefully string together two solid performances.
I think the Raiders are just as big a trash team as the Bears. However the Bears are also home dogs due to their track record. I think the Bears offense is more formidable at this point in the season which is a shock to type. Look for a must win game from the Bears or prepare for the coaching staff to get on the soup line.
I do not understand how the Lions are three point dogs at the Ravens. I know the Ravens have the talent on offense to get it done when Lamar is locked in but 3 points is a lot for a team I think should be favored by at least a point and a half given their consistency this year.
💰 $20.00 to win $227.30
The I Can't Quit You Bet
Eagles Straight Up ATS (-118)
I know I said I would stay away from my Birds but honestly, I smell an opportunity with high winds this weekend (bad for pass game) in Philly and a Dolphins team that has only ever looked weak against pressure up the middle. And guess what, the Baby Rhino Jalen Carter is expected to play after missing last week. Probably the most dominant rookie ever at this point. Getting pressure to Tua is the only way to win and I'll take the gamble.
💰 $40.00 to win $33.90
The Spite Bet
Chargers Moneyline (+194)
Regardless of the fact I may have shifted the line last week causing me to not cover, it DOES NOT MATTER. The Chiefs have wronged me and I will have satisfaction.
I honestly don't know what's going on with the Chiefs team this year. It all seems a little off. And as I stated above, I don't need anymore motivation to bet against them.
I will also conveniently ignore any such commentary about the Charges for this week only.
💰 $30.00 to win $58.20
Multiteam ATS Parlay
Browns -3, Giants +3, Bucs -2.5, Bears +3, Lions +3, Rams -3 (+4583)
This is a greed bet. Sometimes shortcuts do in fact work out in life, and boy, do I need a shortcut to leap ahead of Matt. I made these selections in about 4 seconds and went with my gut, nothing fancy to see here. I mean, it's only $10.
💰 $10.00 to win $468.38
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!