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Kirk's losing streak continues as Matt adds a bit of padding to his lead. It was the week of the upset in the NFL!
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.
Recap: Matt's Picks
$242.83 wagered $36.37 won +$136.37 for the season
Make it three straight winning weeks for your boy. Going 3-2 against the spread is not sexy, but it is (slightly) profitable. I also avoided a brutal beat, because I almost took the Jets out and put the Patriots in. If you missed the end of that game, the Patriots (+3.5) were trailing by 2 and got the ball back deep in their own zone and did this:
You know who didn't avoid a brutal beat though? The Giants. Honestly, it's for the best. They need to tank, get some draft capital, and come to play in 2024 with some actual talent. By the way, Tyrod Taylor's clock management is starting to resemble Kirk's Thursday Night Football wagering.
Yikes.
To be fair, the Giants probably should have actually won the game. They earned an untimed down on a defensive pass interference call as time expired. And the very next play... was also pass interference. Except it wasn't called. And that's probably the right move by the refs. It's kind of like how pass interference is never called on a Hail Mary. They're just not gonna do it. So that sucks. But hey, now we're 1-5 and one game out of the Caleb Williams sweepstakes. Keep up the good work, Daboll. Lol.
And last but not least, did anyone kick themselves harder in the dick than my friend and colleague Kirk McCready? Betting an alt line to move the Chiefs from -10.5 to -12.5 and then watching them win by 11 is just amazing stuff. Round of applause for you, my friend.
Saints -1.5
Straight Up ATS (-115)
This game felt like brushing your teeth with your left hand.
I feel like I made the right read here as the Saints defense played well and even forced C.J. Stroud into his first career interception. What I hadn't counted on is Derek Carr being completely awful and Houston's defensive line wrecking total havoc all afternoon. This was my most heavily bet game of the week, so I was pretty frustrated when New Orleans seemingly gave away chance after chance to get back into it. And then I had good ol' Uncle Jack emailing me all game.
Nice Saints pick 😂 Why does David Carr where eyeliner? He must be learning from all of those freaks on Bourbon street. I see you are printing these in you're column so be sure to tell everyone that I bet Tj Shroud for rockie of the year back in august after i got that settlement from the Wendy's bathroom incident. Sux that he is on bye next week. Oh well, we only have to wait until Thursday night to see you're favorite team lose to the Jags. There's a reason the abbreviateion for New Orleans is N.O. - NO chance their going to win! You're chili is getting cold hopefully you can come by to watch Jayson Hertz vs. Zac Wilson. This firestick is awesome, how do i watch Golden Bachelor on here??
❌ Lost $57.50
Jets +7.0
Straight Up ATS (-112)
Ohhhhhhh boy. After listening to all of the Eagles fans in my life complain about their undefeated team for over a month, they are undefeated no more. Now do the Phillies! I don't want to jinx anything here, but... are we sure Jalen Hurts is good? That 3rd and 9 pick was about as bad as it gets. Plus, the body language was not great. There could be trouble brewing in Philly and I'm here for it!
✅ Won $50.00
Bengals -2.5
Straight up ATS (-118)
Haha probably should NOT have won this bet. I was in a full sweat as the Bengals clung to their 4-point lead late. But, hey, sometimes the breaks go your way. Unless you're Professor Bagnoli's friend Greg. He had no luck with women. Not sure what to expect from this Bengal's team going forward. They are 3-3 heading into their bye. You gotta figure Burrow is getting closer and closer to 100%. Here's an email from Sean in Columbus, OH:
The Bengals are currently +2900 on FanDuel to win the Super Bowl. Joe is healthy, the defense is forcing turnovers, and Ja'Marr is now officially the best receiver in the NFL (since Jefferson is hurt). Talk me out of taking a flyer on Cincy.
Thanks for the email Sean. Listen, I like a long shot just as much as the next guy. But let me burst your bubble on two fronts. First, Tyreek Hill is the best receiver in the NFL and it's not close. Second, the Bengals schedule is hell. They're on bye this week but come back at San Francisco, home for Buffalo, home for Uncle Jack's Texans, at Baltimore, home for the Steelers, and at Jacksonville. They are probably favored in, what, two of those six games? I dunno, man. 29-to-1 is a pretty good number if they can sneak into the playoffs, but that could be a tall order in a tough division featuring the Browns defense, Lamar Jackson, and whatever the hell is going on in Pittsburgh.
✅ Won $40.00
Browns +8.5
Straight up ATS (-118)
This actually shouldn't have even been this close. Stefanski was doing some weird stuff, P.J. Walker was dying to give the game away, but the Brownies held on. Turns out, it's hard to cover a spread this big against a great defense in the pouring rain. Sucks that the 49ers got their annual parade of injuries in this game, as the league is definitely more fun when McCaffrey and Deebo are going. But again, sometimes the breaks go your way. Let's hope the investigators that have to look into Deshaun Watson's missing persons report have better luck than San Francisco's placekicker.
✅ Won $40.00
Bucs +3.0
Straight up ATS (-102)
I said when I made this pick that I liked it the least out of my five. But then the Bucs showed up in their creamsicle jerseys and I LOVED it. That ended quickly though as the Lions continue to just pound mediocre and bad teams and Baker Mayfield continues to be Baker Mayfield. The Lions are slowly winning me over. They will be tested on the road at the Ravens next week, and I'm probably staying away from betting it. But definitely will be a good one to watch.
❌ Lost $36.13
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 wagered $100.00 lost -$317.41 for the season
What can I say that Matt hasn't:
"And last but not least, did anyone kick themselves harder in the dick than my friend and colleague Kirk McCready? Betting an alt line to move the Chiefs from -10.5 to -12.5 and then watching them win by 11 is just amazing stuff. Round of applause for you, my friend."
Chiefs -12.5
Alternate Spread (+110)
This game sucked. I was covering my alternate spread into the 4th quarter by the skin of my teeth due to Andy Reid dicking around. Failed tush push on a 4th and 2 from the 10 instead of kicking a field goal early. Mahomes throwing an atrocious duck of a INT in the Redzone, AGAIN. Gadget plays that sure looked cool but didn't result in points.
Then, after all the tom fuckery, the Chiefs were still covering with a Broncos 3rd and 5 late in the 4th quarter (I think) near the Chiefs endzone when Russell, Hustle and Bustle Wilson threw a ball out the back of the endzone. But wait, what's this!?! A truly god awful roughing the passer call for the MOST typical tackle I have ever seen. It's so fucking bad I can't find a clip of it on NFL youtube. And Matt hasn't taught me how to imbed the 'X' links yet so I can't post it. Twist the knife more.
Next play, meaningless TD for the Broncos which was some sort of victory for Sean Payton I guess? He is also at 2-1 odds for Fraud Coach of the year so that's a lock at least.
With the score at 16-6 after the TD they went for a 2 point conversion, and got it. So the Chiefs FG at the end of the game did not help me (THE ONLY MAN IN AMERICA IT DID NOT HELP).
I moved the spread to maximize winnings by $20 and lost $100 instead. And I told the internet about it.
❌ Lost $100.00