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Spooky season continues with picks so ghastly even Stephen King is unfollowing us. Enter if you dare and relive the carnage.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to drive to the State Diner in Ithaca, NY and eat a bowl of chicken and rice soup alone. Let's take a look at how we did this week!
Matt's Picks
$100.00 wagered -$57.60 lost -$314.60 for the season
I missed most of the action on Sunday to attend a family wedding. This is why America needs a sports czar! You're really treading into some rough waters scheduling your wedding on a Sunday in October. You're going against a full slate of NFL games and playoff baseball. The people you invite really better love you. Anyway, I got home just in time to see the Mets lose to the Dodgers 9-0 and the Giants lose to the Bengals 17-7. The Dodgers outscoring the Giants after about a dozen vodka sodas definitely made me a bit queasy. Thankfully, my Mets were able to rebound with a nice Game 2 win to even things up. If I could guarantee the Mets a World Series victory but I'd need to lose every bet I made for the rest of this website's existence, I would sign up for that right now. I wouldn't even argue... unlike a certain head coach from Philadelphia.
Jets (+2.5)
Straight up ATS (-112)
That howling wind you heard at MetLife last night? That's the sound of Robert Saleh's ghost sucking the hope out of Jets fans. He also got a little frisky and pushed two Greg Zuerlein field goals into the upright, sealing the cover for the Bills. What a nightmare. The Jets and Giants are now a combined 4-31 straight up in primetime since 2019. No wonder Al Michaels sounds like he is halfway in the grave.
❌ Lost $44.80
Lions (-3.0)
Straight up ATS (-112)
The Cowboys are such ass even my cold ass picks can't buy them a win. Detroit's offense seems like they are ready to go on a crazy roll, but they'll need to get by an undefeated Vikings defense in Week 7 first. Meanwhile Dallas limps into a much-needed bye. Will Mike McCarthy see the other side of it? Probably, because Jerry Jones is a corpse.
✅ Won $20.00
Patriots (+6.5)
Straight up ATS (-108)
Uncle Jack really hated this pick.
I can't believe your going to take Drake Mays over T.J. Shroud! I didn't see anyone on the Patriots down on the Gulf Coast last week clearing downed power lines and fallen trees with there bare hands. Shroud is an American hero. It doesn't even matter that Rico Collins is hurt. He'll throw to himself if he has to — just like he threw those paper towels to Hurricane Milton survivors, with an arm stronger that you're cousin's marijuana candies he's always leaving around the house. Susie took one by accident last weekend and stared at her Suduku puzzle for fourteen straight hours. Come to think of it, that was the best weekend of my life. I might have to thank that ingrate son of mine for once. Honestly, I feel sorry for T.J. Shroud. He had to do all of that cleanup work because of a storm that Karmela Harris and her communist friends INTENTIONALLY aimed at us. She wants as many high winds and floods as possible so that the illegal aliens can fly over the border on their Democrat-funded parachutes and float across the Rio Grande on Tom Waltz's homemade raft. It's a bunch of malarkey. You better stop losing so many bets because she's gonna raise you're taxes on day one to pay for gender reassignment surgery for stray dogs and cats. All you have to do is listen to my radio programs! They'll explain it to you. Until then, I'll be gearing up to watch Shroud beat the tar out the Packers and that blank sheet of computer paper Jeremiah Love next week. That is, if Karmela doesn't decide to flood Green Bay with a tropical storm beforehand. Christ!
❌ Lost $21.60
Home Divisional Dog 6-Point Teaser (+260)
Seahawks +9.5 ❌ Panthers +12.0 ❌ Broncos +8.5 ✅ Saints +9.0 ❌
Haha this was a great bet. I marked it a loss a mere 4 hours after posting these picks. Out of the 9 home underdogs that took the field in Week 6, all 9 lost outright and none of them covered. That's pretty amazing.
Who would be dumb enough to do something like that?
❌ Lost $11.20
Kirk's Picks
$165.00 wagered -$165.00 lost -$434.30 for the season
Here's a fun fact:
I'm trash, my picks are trash, and my life is actively falling apart around me.
In fact, my failure is so complete my Ring cameras caught me coming home to find my house abandoned and my wife and kids having rightly left me due to my gambling shit brain.
Luckily, I managed to hold on to my friends who I also believe to be, big piles of shit.
They can't even spell worth a shit.
I love them.
Ithaca calls to me.
Bo Nix is Fun (-118)
Broncos +3
I may have gotten past my hatred of Sean Payton last week for being an asshole, but I forgot a crucial fact.
The man is fucking coward!
With a chance to drive down the field, score a touchdown, kick the extra point, THEN try for the onside kick he could have cut the Chargers lead down to 3 and had my bet push.
Instead he's what he's always been, a selfish asshole coward who blames everyone else but himself! He kicked the field goal, LIKE A COWARD, then failed the onside kick, TWICE! I HATE YOU PAYTON!
Here's a live look at the Broncos fans attempting to salvage their season with this inept Quarter Back merchant at the helm:
❌ Lost $165.00
Bonus Bet
+$210.00 last week -$190.00 for the season
Hey look at us! We won a bet. Maybe I should just start trading away players in fantasy and then betting on them in this section each week. It has a 100% success rate so far.
Same Game Parlay (+210)
Kenneth Walker anytime touchdown ✅
Brock Purdy 225+ passing yards ✅
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 25+ receiving yards ✅
George Kittle 25+ receiving yards ✅
✅ Won $210.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!