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Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.
Welcome back to Oddball! Our weekly NFL gambling competition. The rules are simple:
We each get $100 to make NFL bets every week.
We must bet the entire $100.
We'll post our picks every Thursday and recap how we did every Tuesday.
We can only bet on stuff that will be resolved during the week (no futures).
Loser must eat an entire well-done steak at Applebee's.
Any profit you make in a given week can be banked and used later. Any portion of the $100 that you don't lose, cannot be used later but does count towards your overall total for the season.
Now that the rules preamble is over, let's get to the picks and see how Matt can cheat this week!
Matt's Picks
$242.83 available to bet this week +$142.83 last week +$100.00 for the season
Wow, one of the rare times where Kirk submitted his half of the picks before me. I can see he's really wound up. I suppose one day he will stop betting Thursday Night Football, but until then, his losses are my gains.
Anyway, I don't have a great feel for this week. Lots of ugly games. Seemingly a lot of bad weather predicted for the middle of the country. I'm going to back to basics and take five games against the spread. Let's hope to go 3-2 or better and just keep gradually building this lead and get Kirk more and more unhinged. 🤞
Saints -1.5
Straight Up ATS (-115)
Uncle Jack continues to shower compliments on the Texans, which makes me even more confident in backing New Orleans. The Saints defense is legit, and their numbers on the road have been fantastic. No doubt that Stroud is the real deal, but he's going up an elite defense that now has plenty of tape to watch. Give me the short road dog.
Tj Shroud is wayyyyy better then David Carr. You better take the Texans in you're column this week. Show some respect to the only state in our great union that defends our boarders. New Oreleans can't even defend there own streets from all the freaks and nudists that run around down there for Mardi Gras. You're aunt Susie showed me a video on the Facebook about Bourbon St. and every other person was stumbling around embrassing themselfs. Much like the Saints are gonna do against big TJ on Sunday. COlin got the uTube TV hooked up and bought me a firestick at Best Buy so we are ready to rock. Susie is making chili if you want to drop by, just don't bring any of those sissy wines you recommended to Krik,
💰 $57.50 to win $50.00
Jets +7.0
Straight Up ATS (-112)
Yes, I know the Jets can't block. Yes, I know the Eagles have a good pass rush. Yes, I know I'm betting on Zach Wilson again. But come on! The Jets defense is really good. They've also been feisty at MetLife this year, beating the Bills and coming close to upsetting the Chiefs. The Eagles are a good team who haven't found their rhythm yet. I don't think they deserve to be over a touchdown favorite on the road against anyone other than like the Panthers, Giants, or Cardinals. This line is too high, Jets keep it close. Eagles stay unbeaten but make all of their fans sick in the process. Stop me if you've heard this before.
💰 $56.00 to win $50.00
Bengals -2.5
Straight up ATS (-118)
Joe Burrow certainly looked healthy to me last week. Granted, he torched the Cardinals. But we don't need him to torch anyone to cover a 2.5 point spread at home. Unless you think the Bengals are completely dead and the highest paid quarterback in the league is going to miss the playoffs, the Bengals will win this game and even up their record at 3-3 heading into their bye.
💰 $47.20 to win $40.00
Browns +8.5
Straight up ATS (-118)
Looks like we're going to see the P.J. Walker show in Cleveland this week. Another quarterback that Uncle Jack can refer to as "Tj" when he berates me for this pick. Anyway, this looks like a messy bad weather game that will slow down San Francisco's offense to keep things close. Remember how this Browns defense was being talked about before their bye? This is a fuck-ton of points for a team that doesn't really allow any.
💰 $46.00 to win $40
Bucs +3.0
Straight up ATS (-102)
Did you know that Jared Goff is the most profitable quarterback against the spread over the past two seasons? Oh shit, wait, I'm betting against him in this spot? I guess that's not a great stat to share. Anyway, I still think the Lions are good not great. Congrats on beating up on the Panthers. I'll take the ugly home dog coming off a bye against the overhyped Lions coming off a blowout win. I like this pick the least of the five, so I'll just throw the rest of my change on it. Go Baker!
💰 $36.13 to win $35.42
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$217.41 for the season
It's been a tough season so far, there's no getting around that.
I could spread the meat around this week and attempt a slower claw back on my "friend" Matt's growing lead. Fuck that.
Chiefs -12.5
Alternate Spread (+110)
Do the Chiefs sometimes fail to cover against weaker opponents? Yes. Do they fail to cover against alternate spreads that push the line even further out? Something tells me the answer is yes.
If the Chiefs can't cover this spread (I moved it from -10.5 to -12.5) then honestly IDGAF! I will bury them like betting on the Birds to cover ATS this season.
This week they go against the Broncos. A team that by all accounts is about to hold a fire sale for any players that teams may want to poach. With Sean Payton's brilliance eroding in front of us like his bromance with Russel Wilson I think now is the time to get even more aggressive against this shitty team. I screwed myself last week by including the Pats in a parlay - aging coach, best years behind him, can't get with the times, probably pees all over the place instead of in the bowl and makes his family clean it up, you know, time to hang it up pal.
And really, I honestly just can't stand Matt's dumb face. I had to see that dumb face in person this past weekend at our friend's house and his shit eating grin was on display the entire time. I need to win, just one win to position myself for some strategic bets next week when I really try to expose him for the fraud he is.
Also I think it's bullshit he found a golf swing after 5 holes this weekend. "Oh geez, I'm just so bad out here. Oh did that go right in the middle of the fairway? Oh golly geez would you look at that"?
AND THANKS FOR ALL THE WINE SUGGESTIONS GUY
💰 $100.00 to win $110.00
As with last week - please send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!
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