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Pure domination as Matt has a perfect week and Kirk fails to bank any cash. Let's recap Week 5 in the NFL.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.
Recap: Matt's Picks
$170.00 wagered $142.83 won +$100.00 for the season
Wow, am I a genius or what? A perfect week of pure domination. I'm sure this will continue unimpeded for the rest of the season. All I need to do is trust my gut and I will pick all of the right teams from here on out. Absolutely nothing can go wrong!
One note: I realized that the banking system for scoring this contest kind of makes no sense. I will be showing our win/loss total for the season from now on, since that's really what matters. I hope Kirk is getting ready for that leathery beef he will be consuming at Applebee's in February.
Falcons (-126)
Moneyline
A testament to my genius that I opted for the moneyline here instead of laying points. This line had moved to 2.5 by kickoff and the Falcons kicked a game-winning field goal to win by exactly 2. This is why you come to this site. Detailed analysis by experts like me.
Uncle Jack hated this pick and sent me an email littered with typos to criticize it:
Why would you pay an extra 16 cents to get flacons' moneyline? Tj Shroud is a much better qb than John Ritter. As I told you're cousing, il'l never support an ATL team til Georgia drops there sham charges against 45. fjb go houston! PS: What channel is uTube TV?? Colin isn't speaking to me but I heard an ad for they're Sunday ticket thing on my bachelor party podcast last week. Golden bach has been great so far.
✅ Won $50.00
6-point Teaser (-130)
Rams +10.5 Steelers +10.5
A nice win. One teaser leg that didn't need any of the points, and the other leg that needed every single one of them. I can't really figure out either of these two teams, so of course I'll be betting them again soon.
Here's an actual email from our friend Jake in Jersey:
You should explain to people what "key numbers" are in your teaser picks. Asking for a friend. Also, you suck at golf.
I know I suck at golf, Jake. Thanks for taking Kirk and I out for a round last weekend. Sorry I embarrassed you. I'll stick to axe throwing from now on.
Key numbers refer to the commonly-landed on point differentials in football games: 3, 7, and 10 being the most common. When you tease a point spread, you should try to cross at least two of them. The best two times to tease a game are when you can bring a 7.5 or 8.5 point favorite down to 1.5 or 2.5. Doing so crosses the key numbers of 7 and 3, giving you lots of added value. Alternatively, it's good to tease underdogs of 1.5 or 2.5 up to 7.5 or 8.5 (again crossing the 3 and the 7).
Other teaser tips from the so-called experts: never cross the zero (tease a short favorite down to a short underdog) and look for games with over/under totals lower than 49. Those games generally have less variance in the final score, since they tend to be lower scoring. Hope that helps, Jake!
✅ Won $50.00
Colts +2.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
I started sweating when the Titans marched down the field, immediately scored a touchdown, and then Anthony Richardson left the game with an injury. But then I remembered that my hero Gardner Minshew was waiting in the wings as the Colts backup. How do you not love this guy?
✅ Won $20.00
Moneyline Parlay (+114)
49ers
Dolphins
Lions
Easy money here as the 49ers continue to look dominant, and the Giants are duking it out with the Panthers to be the league's worst team. Speaking of the Giants, friend of the site Tyrod Taylor wrote us an email to share his feelings about potentially making the start for Big Blue on Sunday Night.
yo, first of all love the site. your piece about william henry harrison was dope. his refusal to wear a coat reminded me of my offensive line's refusal to block anyone. 18 sacks in two games?? that's almost as bad as a 31-day presidency. but let's be honest, they sure as shit won't be writing about nbc's sunday night ratings in any history books. who is gonna watch me get slaughtered by josh allen? am i really gonna have to play in this game? i was hoping to watch last week tonight. that john oliver is heading for another emmy, i can feel it. bet on that. definitely don't tease the giants to up to +20 no matter how many key numbers that crosses. we haven't even scored 20 first half points this entire season. fml.
Thanks Tyrod! Stay safe on Sunday, we need to keep our site traffic up.
✅ Won $22.83
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 wagered $100.00 lost -$217.41 for the season
I'm at a loss for words.
Actual representation of Matt hitting all his picks and basking in my pain and humiliation:
Same Game Parlay (+2204)
Washington Commanders -6, Over 44.5, Brian Robinson Any Time TD, Terry McLaurin Over 4.5 Receptions, DJ Moore under 55.5, Sam Howell Over 1.5 Passing TD's
I'm retiring Thursday night weekly specials. The kitchen is closed. I'M POOR.
❌ Lost $10.00
Bills -5.5
Straight Up ATS (-110)
I blame my brother in law for this one. I give the Bills too much credit and too easily forget their awful Football Gods history. Recency bias thy name is me.
❌ Lost $80.00
3 Game Parlay ATS (+581)
Dolphins -12, Ravens -4.5, Patriots +1
Dolphins cover ✅ , Ravens have the most boring, awful, predictable game ever against the Steelers ✅ , Belichick Era is officially over ✅
❌ Lost $10.00
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