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A mixed bag for Matt with his losses creeping up, and a real certified dick punch for Kirk. This one looks like it's wrapped up.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.
Recap: Matt's Picks
$100.00 wagered $24.87 lost +$84.98 for the season
First of all, inquiring minds want to know about the Atlantic City trip. I'll say this — it's a bit different when we go as 35-year-olds and the wives in tow than when we'd pile into my shitty Saturn at the spritely young age of 21, 100% single and pathetic.
Here's how the bingo card shook out:
We could have had a diagonal bingo, since I did get a non-ATM-related scolding and we did have a late night meal, but it was mediocre pizza and not chicken and waffles. Oh well. Next time I'll bring Evan Williams instead of High Noons and we'll cause a bit more destruction.
Commanders +9.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
I still hate this team. They are still terrible. I've managed to bet on them in two consecutive weeks and they've lost those games by a combined score of 90-25. Thankfully, I will not lose any money on them in Week 14 as they are on bye.
Here's a quick look at Tyreek Hill murdering this pick:
❌ Lost $20.00
Jets +1.5
Straight up ATS (-105)
Holy shit, Tim Boyle is horrible. This game stayed at 13-8 for the final 18:41. During that time, the Jets had six possessions with a chance to take the lead. Here's what they did:
Gained 6 yards, then punted
Gained 2 yards, then threw an interception
Gained 15 yards, then punted
Lost 1 yard, then punted
Gained 22 yards, then lost a fumble
Gained 18 yards, then turned it over on downs
Man, are the Falcons really going to host a playoff game as the NFC South division champ? How high is the spread in their Wild Card Weekend matchup against the Cowboys? We are putting that in a teaser FOR SURE.
Anyway, the joke has already been made 10,000 times but Aaron Rodgers is going to be ready to start in the playoffs! It's just too bad his team is going to finish 4-13.
❌ Lost $20.00
Titans +1.5
Straight up ATS (-115)
This one was about as rough as it gets. It ended up making the difference between a small profit and another losing week. Things were going pretty well until this happened:
Yeah, so that's two blocked punts in a row. Not what you want. And on the second one, the punter gets his leg snapped off, so he's completely out of the game. Turns out, he is also the holder on extra point attempts, which then the Titans missed after tying the game at 28. So basically a triple whammy.
But not an outright disaster, as I still had a chance to cover in overtime. Amazingly, the Titans won the toss, drove the field and kicked a field goal. I was seemingly in the driver's seat once again. Oh, but then THIS happened.
Needless to say, they scored a touchdown and won a few seconds later. I guess that's why you shouldn't bet against guys who look like this:
Now that's a god damn legend right there. I deserve the L.
❌ Lost $20.00
49ers -2.5
Straight up ATS (-118)
Man, the Niners looked great. They sure stomped the Eagles. This seemed like a pretty easy pick all week with Philadelphia clearly banged up and focused on getting past Dallas next week. The media is treating this like it was already a Super Bowl victory for Brock and the boys. Meanwhile the 49ers have ballooned up to a 10.5-point favorite at home against the Seahawks in Week 14.
Just something to monitor, as a team usually is not quite as good as they looked the previous week. Especially in a divisional game. I'll probably look to fade the hype (at my own peril).
✅ Won $16.95
Packers +6.0
Straight up ATS (-110)
Wow. Back-to-back upsets by Green Bay against the Lions and the Chiefs have propelled them into the playoff picture. If the season ended today, they'd get the 7-seed and earn the right to be curb stomped by the 49ers in Santa Clara. But with their remaining games against the Giants, Bucs, Panthers, Vikings, and Bears, they could very easily keep climbing up the ranks.
But first they'll have to get past this guy in Week 14:
Good luck with that!
✅ Won $16.95
Kirk's Picks
$560.28 wagered $560.28 lost -$743.51 for the season
A shot taken, a shot missed. I'm not here to cry about it.
Cowboys (-8.5)
Straight up ATS (-115)
Last week I wrote this:
"I also don't think Seattle has any semblance of their shit together. They look lost and frustrated with one another. Geno looks nothing like last years pre-contract version and the offense seemingly has no identity if the long ball to DK Metcalf isn't working. Guess what? The ball needs to be on the sideline, not outside of the sideline for DK to have a chance to catch it."
Well guess what folks?
The one thing that wasn't happening for weeks happened. I birthed it back into the world and I was smote down as a result. The Cowboys proceeded to win this game by 6 causing me to sadly miss out on an epic comeback shot at this competition.
I'm not giving up, you never know what can happen and hey, at least the bonus picks for us are back on track.
❌ Lost $560.28
Bonus Picks
$100.00 wagered $232.46 won +$609.13 for the season
Bang. Bang BANG BANG.
We managed to not fuck this one up, and Kirk sure is happy. He gets to factor his half of the winnings into every conversation with his wife about losing the major dollars and cents above from his picks. He probably shouldn't have tested if his wife actually read the site, but again, he is a self-professed moron.
Same Game Parlay (+232)
Jake Ferguson 25+ receiving yards ✅
Tony Pollard 3+ receptions ✅
Tyler Lockett 25+ receiving yards ✅
Tony Pollard 40+ rushing yards ✅
In addition to the win above and even with the Cowboys not covering the spread, at least this one was another entertaining prime time game. Al Michaels even showed signs of life doing commentary along side the other Kirk. Perhaps I was too hasty trying to take out the garbage on one of the all time best. The end of the season will be the judge.
✅ Won $232.46
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!
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