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Kirk finally nails his long shot and gets back into the hunt. Matt is now starting to sweat after three-straight losing weeks. Uh oh!
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.
Recap: Matt's Picks
$100.00 wagered $61.44 lost +$109.85 for the season
Oh Thanksgiving — a wonderful holiday where most people relax and eat turkey, but oddballs like me have to suffer through an absolute beatdown with a belly full of mashed potatoes. You know what I was thankful for this year? That I brought a third bottle of wine to dinner, because I needed it.
Kirk, on the other hand, is thankful that he finally got his win. Not only did I have to suffer through my in-laws asking "how come the red team doesn't play any defense?", but I also had to see the group text blowing up as Kirk hit a 55-to-1 shot and got right back into the running for this stupid pool.
I might delete this entire website if he comes back to win. But I guess I can only blame myself. I've been on a three-week cold streak and it needs to end FAST.
My picks:
Commanders +12.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
I mean, what is there really to say here? Washington stinks. Dallas beat the shit out of them. Dolly Parton is firmly camped out in the uncanny valley. And I lost this bet by a mile.
You know what else wasn't even close? I had the Commanders in a 14-point teaser league in which I was 43-1 and in first place before this week. Then I lost two games (Commanders +26.5 and Browns +15.5) in four days and plummeted in the standings. How do you not cover 26.5 as a divisional dog in a rivalry game? This Washington team deserves all the cold showers and raw sewage their crappy stadium can provide. I hate them. I can't wait to bet them +9.5 against the Dolphins this week.
❌ Lost $22.00
Giants
Moneyline (+140)
Well, Bill Belichick outsmarted everyone again. He told his kicker to go out there and shank one, keeping the Pats firmly in contention for the #1 overall pick. That part is going suck, but in the short term, I'll take the win. Here's a definitely not fake email from Enzo in Newark, NJ:
hey how you boys doin? listen, i gotta tell youse about this kid tommy livin in his mom's basement and playin for the giants. this kid's throwin balls like he's tossin pizza dough down at mama mia's — smooth and with a lotta spin. ever since tommy started slingin it for big blue, my buddies and i, we're glued to the tv. even nonno antonio, guy doesn't know a pigskin from a cannoli, he says to me, "hey enzo, this tommy's got more talent in his pinky than this jabroni macaroni jones has in his whole damn arm." now i'm not a wise guy or nothin, but i know a thing or two about sports. and this devito fella, he's like sinatra at the sands — slicker than extra virgin olive oil from the old the country. the way he was dodgin those new england defenders? i haven't seen moves like that since my cousin rocco dodged a crowbar to his kneecaps. so here's the deal — you clowns need to start payin more attention to little tommy. adjust those odds or whatever it is you do. the kid's a star, and if youse don't catch on now, you'll be eatin out of your own assholes later. trust me, i got an eye for this stuff, just like i got an eye for a good pot of sunday gravy. alright, i gotta run. my old lady's yellin about something, probably about me eatin all the gabagool again. keep an eye on that tommy devito, capisce? it'd be a shame if something happened to him.
✅ Won $27.22
Texans +7.5 & Browns +8.5
6-Point Teaser (-134)
I'm not sure where the heralded Browns defense was in this one. The Broncos leapt out to a 14-0 lead, then Dorian Thompson-Robinson got hit so hard that his mouth was bleeding, then a completely futile PJ Walker-led offense had to try to come back. Spoiler alert: it didn't work.
Hilariously, I lost even more money on the Browns in my 14-point teaser league. I had them +15.5 trailing by 15 with 2:32 remaining. Instead of driving down the field, they took a safety and lost by 17. Isn't gambling fun?
Anyway, as we've been tracking the past few weeks on this site, the Broncos are really starting to make a push. They've won five in a row (and six of the eight games they've played since losing 70-20 to Miami). If the playoffs started today, their 6-5 record wouldn't get them into the dance. But they certainly have some winnable ones left on their schedule (Chargers twice, home for the Pats, and at Raiders). I could easily see them getting to 9 or 10 wins and having a shot. If you like betting on weirdo quarterbacks who do shirtless high-knees at the beach in front of little kids, you could get the Broncos to make the playoffs at +146 right now on FanDuel.
❌ Lost $66.66
Kirk's Picks
$100.00 wagered $460.28 won -$183.23 for the season
Well, well, well....WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.
I bet 10 escalating leg parlays and the #6 horse came in within the final moments of the Thanksgiving night game with a Brandon Aiyuk touchdown. His TD sealed a 6 leg any time touchdown score parlay.
A handful of my bets came quite close but boy oh boy, was I happy to hit 1.
The Waterfall of Futility Bet
1. Correct Score (+8000)
Lions 27 - Packers 17
❌ Lost $10.00
2. 2 Leg Parlay (+138)
Lions ML, 49ers & Seahawks Over 43.5
❌ Lost $10.00
3. 3 Leg Parlay (+1513)
Packers ML, Cowboys ML, Seahawks ML
❌ Lost $10.00
4. 4 Leg Parlay (+2634)
Amon-Ra St. Brown, Romeo Doubs, AJ Dillon, David Montgomery (ATTS's)
❌ Lost $10.00
5. 5 Leg Same Game Parlay (+1350)
J Goff Over 1.5 Passing TD's, J Love Under 1.5 Passing TD's, D Prescott Over 1.5 Passing TD's, Sam Howell Over 1.5 Passing TD's, B Purdy Over 1.5 Passing TD's
❌ Lost $10.00
6. 6 Leg Same Game Parlay (+5502)
David Montgomery, S. LaPorta, Christian McCaffery, Brandon Aiyuk, Tony
Pollard & CeedDee Lamb (ATTS's)
✅ Won $550.28
7. Same Game Parlay (+6280)
S. LaPorta Over 44.5, R. Doubs Over 39.5, C. Watson Over 42.5, A. St. Brown
Under 83.5, K. Raymond Under 12.5, A. Dillon Under 11.5, D. Montgomery Under
4.5 (All Receiving Yards)
❌ Lost $10.00
8. Same Game Parlay (+4903)
Lions -7.5, Cowboys -12.5, 49ers -7, GB @ Detroit Under 46.5, Washed Up @ Dallas
Over 48.5, 49ers @ Seahawks Over 43.5, B. Purdy Over 1.5 Passing TD, D. Prescott
Over 1.5 Passing TDs
❌ Lost $10.00
9. Same Game Parlay (+24298)
J Gibbs Over 47.5, D. Montgomery Over 67.5, A. Dillon Over 46.5, T. Pollard Over 64.5, B. Robinson Over 41.5, R. Dowdle Under 24.5, C. McCaffery Under 75.5, Z.
Chabonnet Over 55.5, D. Samuel Over 10.5 (All Rushing Yards)
❌ Lost $10.00
10. Same Game Parlay (+11100)
Washed @ Cowboys Over 48.5, Cowboys -12.5, D. Prescott Over 275.5 Passing YDS, S. Howell Under 251.5 Passing YDS, D. Prescott Over 1.5 Passing TDS, S. Howell Under 1.5 Passing TDS, C. Lamb Over 93.5 Rec YDS, J. Dotson Under 32.5
Rec YDS, T. Pollard Over 64.5 Rushing YDS, B. Robinson Over 41.5 Rushing YDS
❌ Lost $10.00
Hitting #6 has rejuvenated my entire Oddball season and has put me in the drivers seat for this upcoming week. With the week to week banking of cash off this win I have considerable funds I can now employ. I could take it conservatively and sit back and replenish.
Or I could take a giant swing at Matts face and look to put him down for the count for good. Not sure which would be in character.
I'll meditate on it.
Special shoutout to our friend Tom who sent me an email at 2:44PM on Thanksgiving talking shit about how much money I was losing this season. At 11:06PM that same evening he sure looked like a real asshole.
Suck a fat one Tom!
Bonus Picks
$100.00 wagered $100.00 lost +376.67 for the season
Any 4 Players to Score a Touchdown (+900)
Christian McCaffrey ✅
Jahmyr Gibbs ❌
Brandon Aiyuk ✅
Sam LaPorta ✅
Jake Ferguson ❌
It was fun that every other fucking Cowboys under the sun got in the end zone and ruined my Commanders bet, but Jake Ferguson wasn't one of them. If you count up those little green checkmarks, you'll notice that there are only 3 of them and we need there to be 4 of them. So we lost. Again.
Back to trusting the algorithm on Thursday and not my half-baked FanDuel Thanksgiving Specials that I put no research or thought into.
❌ Lost $100.00
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