Oddball: Week 1 Recap

Kirk gets the early lead as Matt and the Giants get beat up pretty bad in Week 1.

Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.

Recap: Matt's Picks

$100 wagered $50.40 lost $49.60 in the bank

Why was I excited about football again? kdsajfl;kasjfasdlkgadskjfnakj

Forgive me, it's hard to type after that colossal kick to the nuts.

Obviously it was not a good start to this contest as I spent most of the day losing bets and then capped it off with my Giants laying an absolute goose egg on their home turf.

In an attempt to move past a 40-0 curb stomping, I ate a whole bunch of McDonald's at 10:30 PM on Sunday night and spent all day Monday feeling horrible about myself. Football's back, baby! What a treat.

Anyway, let's recap even though it hurts.

6-point teaser (-139)

Browns +8.5 Steelers +8.5

This was a great reminder that teasers are dumb. I had the Browns circled all week and should have just taken them straight up. Instead I got cute and wanted to use that 2.5 point spread to my advantage. I forced it with the Steelers, who I thought would be better-prepared under Tomlin. Yuck.

❌ Lost $40

Texans +10.0

Straight up ATS (-115)

Turns out this line was not, in fact, too high. Although, I do feel like this game was a bit closer than the score let on. Lamar was actively terrible. But ultimately, it is not a great idea to bet on a rookie quarterback on the road in his first NFL start against John Harbaugh who is now 12-4 ATS in Week 1. Whoops!

❌ Lost $22

Giants +3.5

Straight up ATS (-115)

This one was tough. Just a big time embarrassment. The Cowboys were just so much faster and more talented it's hard to believe they are in the same league (let alone division) as the G-Men.

Let's just review my little spiel I wrote 96 hours ago when I made this pick.

Yes this is a homer pick.

Still true.

But the Giants are also a nice HUID candidate with a great coach who will have them well-prepared.

Half true. They were indeed a home underdog in a division game. Unfortunately, their coach had no answers and the only thing they seemed well-prepared for was the bus ride home.

Wink's defense will be hitting Dak all night long and the MetLife faithful are going to love it.

They didn't (x2).

Plus, we're getting the extra half point. Sign me up for Big Blue in this spot.

Thank god for that extra half point. I was only 36.5 points off instead of the full 37. I'm a fucking genius.

❌ Lost $22

Buccaneers (+210)

Moneyline

Hey! An actual win on my card. Funny how the longest shot on the board actually came through for me. Daniel Jones may have let me down, but Baker Mayfield never will. Kirk Cousins' 300+ yards and 2 TD's couldn't overcome what was a pretty solid two-way performance by the Bucs. Look out for Tampa. On the other side, the Vikings continued their trend of winning or losing every single game by a field goal and I saved myself from a total wipeout by sniffing out a nice 2-to-1 dog to win outright.

✅ Won $33.60

Kirk's Picks

$100 wagered $38.58 won $138.58 in the bank

Not a bad start. Not the massive burial for Matt I was rooting for but, you know, I’ll take it for now.

Packers +1.5 (-118)

Straight up ATS

I am a golden God. Or just a normal person who remembered the Bears blow dude. Again this was free money and I could have bet my whole $100 allotment on it, but that is no fucking fun at all. I wish I was douchey enough to be a crypto bro, I would have bet all my digital hedge stacks against this Bears “team”. And don’t Google DHS’s, sure sounds douchey enough to be real.

✅ Won $63.56

Same Game Parlay (+13831)

Amon-Ra St Brown (to score 2 or more touchdowns)

Isiah Pacheco (to score 2 or more touchdowns)

Marquez Valdes-Scantling (anytime touchdown)

Sometimes when you aim for glory, you end up ass down in the mud outside of the Rugby House and are too embarrassed to go in and clean off your ass so you skip the party entirely and never tell your friend Tom until now that you weren’t sick but actually literally mud butted.

I hit the first ⅕ of my parlay in 7 minutes of the Lions-Chiefs game, I was pumped. Then it all turned out quite poorly. Became a snoozefest. Although as an Eagles fan I was pumped to see KC lose. Yes, I am bitter.

I am not going to stop taking shots this year. I’m going to refine my strategy. I know the math will work out. 60% of the time, it works, every time. Time is on my side.

❌ Lost $25