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Catching up with the viral sensation who landed on Brandon Aiyuk's shoe before the NFC Championship game.
It was an interview seen 'round the world. The NFL football world, at least...
Brandon Aiyuk credited his lucky catch in the NFC Championship game to a ladybug that landed on his shoe in warmups. Today, Ill & Odd brings you an exclusive interview with Laird, the five-month old Coccinellidae beetle from Santa Clara, California, who is now a viral sensation taking the sports media landscape by storm.
Thanks for sitting down with us today, Laird. Wow, it's been a crazy 72 hours for you since Brandon Aiyuk issued those postgame comments. Can you tell us what that has been like?
Oh, darling, it's been an absolute whirlwind, let me tell you! I never thought I'd see MY spots in the spotlight. My antennae haven't stopped buzzing with notifications. I've been fluttering from one interview to another, spreading my pretty little wings in ways I never imagined. The Bravo TV folks have even been calling. Apparently Andy Cohen had an adorable little ladybug costume back when he was a toddler and since then he's always just LOVED ladybugs. Can you believe that? Ah! And the fan mail! I even got a letter from THE queen of Joe Montana's ant farm asking for an autograph. That was simply surreal. But this interview with YOU is the highlight so far. The 'Mandalay Maintenance Man' was a big hit in my house. We have cousins in Vegas who used to munch on the houseplants in Tupac's penthouse, so it's positively a DREAM to talk with you.
Awesome, awesome. Now take us through what was happening before the game. What were you doing in the stadium and why did you decide to land on Brandon's cleat in the first place?
Well I have to make a TEENSY confession, I was a bit confused and thought that Taylor Swift was going to be at the game. Beautiful creatures like me don't really have time for barbaric sports games, so I got a bit mixed up about which teams were involved. So anyway, there I was, fluttering about the stadium, hoping for a glimpse of those cherry red lips and fabulous golden bangs of hers. You see, I've always had a thing for vibrant colors, and those 49ers uniforms? Simply the next best red and golden thing. So I was looking down at the field and there's Brandon Aiyuk. He's standing super tall and shiny as a sunflower and I thought, "Laird, my dear, let's go crawl around on that marvelously gorgeous specimen for a moment." And so I did, with the grace of a leaf on the wind, I might add.
Unreal. What a journey! So after you flew away, did you stick around and watch the game or what? Did you actually see Brandon make that crazy catch off of a defender's face mask?
Well, kind of. As I mentioned, I don't really, like, follow football. Or know the rules. Or really anything about sports at all. The only kind of touching down I do is usually in a lush green meadow full of delicious aphids, you see? But I had to scuttle my cute little carapace to safety and avoid all of those big strong men stomping on me, so I climbed up into Coach Campbell's unsightly headset and hid. I felt kind of naughty because he mentioned feeling a bit of a tickle urging him to make some of his questionable play calls... I hope he wasn't listening to little old me. So anyway, yes, there I was, clinging to Mr. Campbell's distended, ruby red earlobes when Brandon leapt up like a falling angel and made his divine reception. It was magnificent!
Haha wow. Well, we're certainly glad you were able to see it unfold. Has anyone from the 49ers organization reached out to you?
Well Brandon himself reached out and that was absolutely fabulous. He asked if I wanted to come live in his grasshopper terrarium, but the decor is simply NOT up to my impeccable standards. I swear, for a highly-paid athlete, he has dreadful taste. And then some beefy fellow named Mr. Lynch called me up to ask if I could attend the draft this year. He wanted me to fly around and land on the quarterbacks I thought he should use a third overall pick on. Apparently he tried the same strategy a couple years back with a scorpionfly he found in Fred Warner's jockstrap, but they weren't too thrilled with the results. How disappointing!
And what about Lions fans? I can't imagine they are too thrilled with you right now. Have there been any negative interactions since you became Insta-famous?
Well if there's one thing I've learned from my colony of cousins who infest the upholstery division of the Ford plant out there, Detroit is pretty gosh darn good at losing. They've been simply phenomenal to me, if I'm being honest. All except for their LOUSY quarterback who has been simply nasty. He's been sending me DM's that are absolutely DISGUSTING day and night ever since the game ended. I'm not sure why he needs to hide behind a keyboard. It's almost like he's a weird kind of cyberbully or something. Maybe he's just embarrassed because I saw those tiny little hands trying to swat me off the field and it was like, umm... no chance, honey!
So what are your plans after this, Laird? Should we expect you to return to a simple, garden-dwelling life or do you plan to leverage your newfound notoriety to change careers?
Well, I've always considered myself a bit of a spiritual guru. All of that time spent in nature and what not. And now that I've had a few offers, I'm thinking about finally finishing up my self-help book. It's called 'Flutter to Success: A Speck of Luck in a Big World'. Oh and get this, Volkswagen has been in touch about a potential Super Bowl ad. I can't give too much away though because I've heard there are some awful degenerates who bet on the first commercial. Can you believe that?
Haha, no that's insane. Who would do that? Well Laird, all of us here at Ill & Odd wish you the best of luck going forward. If you ever need a freelance writing gig, Owen Wislon's parole hearing is coming up in March. We might need some help after that.
Well sadly I'm not planning too much beyond the Super Bowl at this point. You see, I'm already five months old (even though I don't look it) and I'm not getting any younger. I can't believe I've lived three-quarters of my life already. It seems like things are just getting started for me. But alas, the wings of time beat on very much like my own, and I'm not sure how many flaps I have left.
Ah, delightfully morbid. Exactly the type of content our readers expected when they clicked on an article about a ladybug. Well, Laird, before we let you go, we have to know — who are you picking in the Super Bowl and will you be flapping those little wings to Las Vegas in order to bring Mr. Aiyuk another dose of good luck?
Oh, heavens NO. Now that I know Taylor Swift is cheering for the Chiefs, I'm picking them for sure. +110 on the money line is simply sensational value for the defending champions. It's like betting on Seth Aaron Henderson on Project Runway. An absolute steal!
Okay, well you heard it here first, folks. Laird the Ladybug, thank you so much for your time. Be well.
My pleasure.