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In this recurring piece I'll be going book by book through the King's archive where I'll be providing mid new insights and analysis while ranking them in a totally objective manner.
Pulling in next is Christine.
Book Title: Christine
Year of Release: 1983
Chronological Position in King's Work: 16th
Pages: 721
The synopsis from the back of the book:
It's love at first sight for high school student Arnie Cunningham when he and his best friend Dennis Guilder spot the dilapidated 1958 red-and-white Plymouth Fury for sale - dubbed "Christine" by its original cantankerous owner - rusting away on a front lawn of their suburban Pennsylvania neighborhood. Dennis knows that Arnie's never had much luck in the popularity department, or really taken an interest in owning a car...but Christine quickly changes all that. Arnie suddenly has the newfound confidence to stick up for himself, going as far as dating the most beautiful girl at Libertyville High - transfer student Leigh Cabot - even as a mysteriously restored Christine systematically and terrifyingly consumes every aspect of Arnie's life. Dennis and Leigh soon realize that they must uncover the awful truth behind a car with a horrifying and murderous history. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and heaven help anyone who gets in Christine's way...
I recently picked up Christine at the forever clutch Hudson Booksellers before boarding a flight. Come to think of it, about one third of the King books I currently own were purchased in airports. The combination of terrible, untrustworthy Wi-Fi on a plane combined with a the surety of seeing a Hudson on the way to the gate makes picking up a book inevitable.
Of course it caught my eye as it was a Stephen King book, but also because it had '40th Anniversary Edition' stamped on the front. I saw it and thought, how the hell could you make a story about a car scary or unnerving? There were no other options that intrigued me so I picked it up somewhat sheepishly and bought it alongside one of those giant Take 2 Milky Way bars that a big slob like me eats in one sitting with horrifying speed.
A tale as old as time is how we open our story. And to be fair to our author maybe this trend was set by himself way back in 83'. I find it difficult as I go so far back into his archive to stop and remind myself it's decades later, and to try and remove any inherent bias against potential 'tropes'.
The tale in question begins with two friends, Arnie Cunningham and Dennis Guilder. Arnie is shy, small, acne ridden, and while he has a sense of humor, he remains unpopular. Dennis is good looking, big, good natured, and well liked at school with his friends and the girls. They've grown up next to each other their whole lives and it explains how the mismatched pair has remained so close. Our viewpoint as readers is through Dennis as our protagonist.
Our introduction to the duo is followed immediately with the two happening upon the titular character, Christine. She is a broken and neglected 1958 Plymouth Fury and Arnie is quickly taken with her. The car is sitting in the yard of a real old son of a bitch, retired army, Ronald D. LeBay. He doesn't exactly conceal his disposition as he manages to intertwine the horrors of war, his plain thoughts on the female anatomy, and his hatred of black people in a few sentences. We are made to instantly disdain him and it's not exactly a chore.
Arnie does a poor job haggling with LeBay and for his part LeBay is only too happy to pawn off the car on a high school kid who's blinded by the potential of his own 'wheels'. Dennis tries and fails to dissuade Arnie from this venture and his more measured nature will be brought to the surface frequently throughout the book.
Eventually the sale is final and Arnie is prized with a real piece of shit junker and LeBay get's $250 for removing the scrap. The name of the car, Christine, is what LeBay had always called her and Arnie adopts it into usage immediately. Interestingly for the reader even though he was eager to sell it to Arnie, there is a forlorn sadness to Lebay after selling his once cherished car. A major part of his life is leaving him. It only makes sense that he would soon drop dead after. Almost as if the only thing keeping him alive was the car.
Spooky!
What follows in the story is a gradual tale (gradual being the operative word as there are 721 pages in this one) of Arnie becoming obsessed with his car and fixing her endlessly in his spare time to mint condition. As the car comes fully alive in an impressive and enviably manner, so does Arnie. His acne clears up, and his popularity grows alongside his confidence. He even manages to successfully woo the beautiful new transfer student, Leigh Cabot.
With Leigh's introduction we get the stage set for the turmoil to follow as Dennis can tell just how lucky Arnie is to be 'going steady' with her. In the air around Dennis there is a whiff of jealousy mixed with happiness for his friend. The three of them spend a great deal of time together and things are looking up for Arnie despite the misgivings Dennis has over the car.
Of course, all is not meant to end well here. With his car and him dating one of the most sought after girls at school, Arnie has become the target of school jackassery at the handful of a number of highschool bullies who routinely attack him more importantly, Christine.
As he is provoked Arnie begins to call people who wrong him "shitters" in anger. It is without a doubt one of the funnier insults I've heard and reading it gave me great enjoyment. Why it's relevant here is it's rarity. Who curses in such a manner? Well our old friend LeBay used to say it in the brief period the boys met him before his sudden death. Dennis is increasingly alarmed at Arnie's mannerisms but more so at the events around town.
Those events? Kids being brutally killed in multiple vehicular 'accidents'. Christine it seems, has been quite busy. With her restoration she seemingly has a devotion towards Arnie. Now clearly a car as a villain as I mentioned is a tall task to accomplish. King does a great job of linking Arnie and the car at the hip to help carefully manage it. As Arnie pours more and more of himself into it, she takes, takes, and takes. As Arnie turns into a bitter, violent shadow of himself, Christine returns to her former glory. Unfortunately for everyone involved that glory is in the awesome form of a jealous, clever, and murderous machine of hell.
For me the book reaches it's peak when it's clear to Dennis what the hell is going on and he struggles to even bring into words the phenomenon that's staring at him. After that point we get to experience multiple characters perspectives as the fire red Plymouth bears down on them to run them over repeatedly and turn them into paste. The way in which without saying a word you can feel how alive Christine is as a character is the ultimate accomplishment by King here. After one of any of the brutal vehicular slayings she will casually roll back to her garage and with a ping and a pang her dents will pop back out and her fender will realign to a perfect polished position. All eerily reminiscent of a person dusting off their hands and saying 'well that's that'.
I won't delve too far into the third act as giving away any specific spoilers would be a disservice to any who have yet to read the book.
I will say again that there is a dark humor to how this car takes it's pleasure in killing, and a couple of the scenarios made me snort from laughter as well as keeping the hairs on my neck stand up. A rare and welcome occurrence!
In the end my own surprise at how King is able to convey moments of unnerving terror about a car possessed with such malevolence while combined with moments of perhaps, unintentional hilarity, easily makes this my favorite read of his to date for this series.
Unlike some of his novels where the start was red hot but would ultimately cool, this book built up speed and crashed into a thoroughly haunting and satisfying conclusion.
It's a book I'll have no problem rereading. I think the humor you can find in it is a large part of that. After all, it's added great vocabulary to my life for anyone who cuts me off in traffic or doesn't return their shopping cart.
Shitters!
Rating: 4.17/5 King's
Kirk's Rankings:
Christine (4.17/5)
Cell (3.82/5)
Salem's Lot (3.70/5)
The Institute (3.00/5)
Billy Summers (1.33/5)
If you have any comments, questions, or recommendations in regards to this series, feel free to email me at kirk@illandodd.com and I'll be sure to get back to you and may include them as part of a mailbag section.