
Matt Talmage
Jun 26, 20244 min read
The Case Against: Waterparks
Don't forget to bring a towel, sunblock, and a Tetanus shot.

Matt Talmage
May 1, 20243 min read
Garden (Pity) Party: WTF?
This edition of Garden Party has similar vibes to my 2nd grade pool party in which the lifeguard was kidnapped and someone shit in the pool.

Matt Talmage
Apr 17, 20243 min read
The Case Against: Aquafina
A beverage so revolting that if you came across it while lost in the desert, you’d rather take your chances raw-dogging a cactus.

SATAN
Mar 25, 20242 min read
YOU ARE WELCOME, PARENTS
I AM SURE YOU ENJOYED ANOTHER RAINY AND COLD WEEKEND WITH YOUR LITTLE ANGELS.

Matt Talmage
Nov 17, 20233 min read
The Case Against: Cranberry Sauce
Cranberry sauce is an affront to god, an insult to taste buds everywhere, and a blight upon the landscape of a great American tradition.

Matt Talmage
Oct 2, 20235 min read
The Case Against: CVS
Welcome to hell! If you need a prescription filled or a new bottle of contact solution, you better clear your calendar.

Matt Talmage
Aug 27, 20234 min read
The Case Against: Burgers
Unpopular opinion: burgers cooked at home on the grill suck. I'm sad to see summer go, but I won't miss these culinary disappointments.